Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
