Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
