She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
