As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
