You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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