You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
