Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
