I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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