We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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