when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
