So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
