I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
