shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This is the high leading the old right now
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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