Me too!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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