call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
