Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
