I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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