Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
