I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
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