tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
