For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
