you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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