I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Its about making memories worth repressing
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
