love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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