seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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