belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
