He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm passing your future prison.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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