You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
