Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
