New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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