Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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