Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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