I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
