Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
