what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
