nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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