How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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