why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
