last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
