my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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