so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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