every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
