Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
