Having a random hookup so left but love u
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
