Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
