He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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