Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
