How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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