What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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