Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
